She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
