me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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