The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
