i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
