dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
