i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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