dude i'm inner monologue high
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
