mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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