you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
