too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The adults are the big ones right?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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