I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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