It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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