So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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