Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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