Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
