Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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