when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
