That's when you crack a 10am beer
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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