All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
