I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He better not be in your backpack
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
