It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
