Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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