Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
