Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
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I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
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WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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