Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
how can u be prego again
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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