I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
