glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
