went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
