did you get engaged???
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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