soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
