Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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