this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The struggles of a small town man whore
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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