So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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