so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
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