I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
