One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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