then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
