I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
