Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
