I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
did i just pee glitter
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
