he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize