I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
