Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
