Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
