Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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