i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
