After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
