do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize