Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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