felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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