On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
