I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
