I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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