whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
3 2 1 whiskey
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
