Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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