Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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